Friday, February 13, 2009

Joy in the Journey...and in the trenches

So today was one of those days in the trenches. I woke up with Abby screaming and crying as she made her way into our room to announce that her ear was hurting terribly. Of course, that meant a first of the day appointment with Dr. Narayanan. Thankfully, Matt was already home because she was supposed to go for her annual diabetic eye exam...and Matt always keeps the other kids while Abby has her specialists' appointments. So we had to cancel that and reschedule with her pediatrician. The morning went fine...she did indeed have an ear infection and an eye infection. Three drugs...$68 by the time we paid for the doctor and the drugs. Way to start the day!

So we get home fine. Matt heads off to work. Grant was napping. So we decided to clean house. It needed it. The girls all pitched in and cleaned the windows, decluttered, and dusted. I love little hands that want to help! This is definitely not too typical around here. Not too long into our cleaning spree, we discover that Grant has horrible diarrhea. The gross, I'm-very-sick-smelling kind. I knew the day was going to get worse. So in between these diapers, I opened our reveal that Matt had clicked the wrong button by accident on the online site for our gas company and had paid for this month's bill with our OLD, CLOSED account. I was horrified. I am the kind of gal that pays things very early all the time....Miss Type A a little bit. It was an honest mistake...but one that caused heart palpitations and a few sweat droplets. We just don't do things like that. Well, the only reason we had an OLD account was due to the robbery in October. We had to close everything for security reasons to protect our assets and identity of course.
So that took a few phone calls. Unfortunately, I totally lost my joy that hour. Between two sick kids and two more screaming toddlers and the situation with the bill, I just lost it. I let go of all of my joy that I'm studying about in MOMS.

Well, we went on at lunch time to drop off a dessert we made for someone who just lost a family member. Seeing her actually pulled me out of my slump. I think I just needed to see and talk to an adult after all the diarrhea, screaming, fighting, and whatnot of the morning. I needed regular life for just a few minutes. Then we went and picked up our mini-pharamacy and headed for FAST FOOD. You know I've come to a low point if I feed my kids fast food by choice and not out of necessity. I really try to make lunch a fruit/cracker/cheese/sandwich rather than grease/fat/grease meal. They were thrilled. And my stress enjoyed some french fries!

Well, let's just say that I was so, so, so excited for naptime. I needed a break today. Of course, I continued to take care of my poor little man who had now become the primary patient (Abby was now acting better). After nap, we did have some good, fun playtime...and my joy did get restored.

In Philippians, one verse (which I do not have the reference to right now) said that Paul thanked God EVERY TIME he thought of that church. Well, I've been struggling with staying frustrated at Isabella. So tonight I literally practiced what Paul said he did. I literally thanked God every time I thought of her. Funny because I had a HUGE headache from all of her screaming this afternoon (much of it fun but still VERY loud) and I was praying these prayers while she was marching around me at bedtime banging a triangle with a drumstick. She was making lots of I thanked God that she was not deaf, that she loved music, that she enjoyed sounds, that she could make a joyful noise. I love how God gave me that prayer specifically since her noise all day had made me a bit edgy....I love that he took that in particular and made it the very thing for which I thanked Him. I determined that no amount of illness, stinky diapers, screaming kids, financial oopsy daisies, or anything else was going to steal my joy. It did for a couple of hours, but I reclaimed it. Thanks to Jean Stockdale for leading us through Philippians (her study is Joy in the Journey...hence the reference to her study in this blog post title)this semester so that I can assimilate this truth into my everyday life...days like the trenches!


Sugar and Spice Mommy said...
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Sugar and Spice Mommy said...

Thanks for sharing! Its good to know that EVERYONE has those days. Hang in there, we will pray that everyone gets better!

Ashley said...

I know that feeling; luckily those days come and then go. That is funny you say that about Isabella; I have those moments with Caleb where I just think are you ever going to calm down and be quiet. But you are so right to thank God for her being able to hear; in those moments thinking about that makes everything worth it and you know you wouldn't trade it for the world!!

Jean Stockdale said...

Honey, I am SO proud of you!! You are living the very principle Paul taught. The Christian life is not about always feeling joyful because life is not hard. It is about fighting the good fight of faith-when you realize you have lost your joy, you battle back against the forces of the lies of the devil, the lure of the world, and the lust of the flesh and you STAND firm in your faith. That is what you did in the midst of a very difficult day. I feel like a proud mother watching her child getting an award at school for accomplishing a grand task!! Good job, sister. the way, this is why I do what I do!! It is mommys like you that are committed to fighting the good fight and finishing strong!! Blessings.